Agree To What!

How could I ever turn away and just think ‘It” was a myth? A legend of sorts with a long history of violence, infamy and absolute justice. After much reflection in the 90’s my realization came and ‘It’, in my life I had blamed all my choices on ‘It’ or others. Although, I did not know anything about ‘It”. I found it as convenient as all populations to blame events that were a disappointment to me on ‘It” or a him and others. Uninformed of that for every action there is a reaction, like providence. Some kind of destiny or divine intervention of consequences that I was not aware and totally uninformed, as an uninformed person I walked in the dark not forewarned existing in the dark. Supernaturally there was a destination fulfilling where I could find solace. And believe me I searched every darkness. There were a few folks out there in the dark that I could count on but they were far and few. I travelled the world looking for ‘It’ providence. At first I thought ‘It’ would be a great marriage and all party friends and we just thought we had ‘It’ all. And we did! Finding no solace neither fulfillment I still was crying out for twenty years. ‘It’ was missing and I was unfulfilled, and I even tried pets with no resolve. I went somewhere called a church and found myself crying for no apparent reason; I had everything I needed in life and was married again. Suddenly I found myself saying something, agreeing to what! I did not even know what was said. Why don’t they just speak in a vocabulary I understand? Then I moved about a month later and never met another person of faith and knowledge for two decades. The world was a really big place back then and my Isaiah experience from the wilderness would not present The Gift until I lived among a very peculiar people and no matter what horrible events presented they would smile, not be devastated and always knew how to recover rapidly. No computers, three channels on a tele and who had time for the news, where had I been in a cave. I don’t know why I am still here and many good and wonderful people I love are not and I am not that aged. The lack of knowledge can leave one in everlasting an appetite with suspended animation, in a hurried world without destinations but materialism, with no goals but the greed to perpetuate idolatry. Without purpose or vision there is no real tangible love just all the motions and counterfeits. Until you find “It” or ‘It’ finds you! Thank you, Janet wherever you are?